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Arsenal Next Season Hopes


And the Lord said unto
“Behold I have heard your
cry and indeed I have seen
the works of the Mancites,
the Manuzites, the
Chelshites and the
I have seen how the
Mancites have put their
trust in filthy mammon.
I will permit them for this
I have also seen how the
Manuzites lean on the arm
of Ferguson.
I will pity them also for a
season more.
However the sin of the
Chelshites and the
Tottentites are beyond
The Chelshites have made
gods of their old prophets
and have not allowed my
young prophets to prosper.
Europa league is their due.
But the Tottentites have
vexed me most of all.
They have made proud
boasts of their skill and
their pacy wingers.
They have taunted their
better rivals and kicked
them even as they lay on
the floor, as if they did not
know that Fabregas had
returned to the land of his
birth and Nasri had moved
on to the land of oil and
For this sin, I have
instructed mighty angels to
seal up the goal post of all
their opponents on every
pitch of play.
In vain will Bale shoot, for
nought will Lennon sprint.
Their midfield will wallow in
confusion, even as their
defence swims in goals.
Their lot shall be with those
who lie behind those who
qualify for Europa.
When these things happen,
Arsene my professor child,
be aware and know that I
am the source of your
success, but also
endeavour to buy Podolski,
Goetze and Vertoghen. And
endeavor to re-sign Van
If you do this then next
season, the drought of
trophies that has assailed
you will end. I have
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